Campeonato de mártires

[Doctor Beaker]

Ketecomo:

A tiger mauls you for 3 damage. (2009-05-13 17:08)
The tiger causes a nasty wound which starts bleeding. You need healing herbs to heal the wound. (2009-05-13 20:05)
A tiger mauls you for 3 damage. (2009-05-13 20:05)
A tiger mauls you for 3 damage. (2009-05-13 21:36)
Tibbalt kills the tiger with a rifle. (2009-05-13 23:12)
Tibbalt gives you 1 gold coin. (2009-05-13 23:12)
Tibbalt says “Filthy cannibal!” (2009-05-13 23:12)
Tibbalt fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2009-05-13 23:13)
Tibbalt fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2009-05-13 23:13)
Tibbalt fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2009-05-13 23:13)
Tibbalt fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2009-05-13 23:13)
Tibbalt fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2009-05-13 23:13)
Tibbalt fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2009-05-13 23:13)
Tibbalt fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2009-05-13 23:13)
Tibbalt fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2009-05-13 23:13)
Tibbalt fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2009-05-13 23:13)
Tibbalt fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2009-05-13 23:13)
Tibbalt fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2009-05-13 23:13)
Tibbalt fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2009-05-13 23:13)
Tibbalt fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2009-05-13 23:13)
Tibbalt fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. You die. (2009-05-13 23:13)

[LunaOskura]

Frensi

Stan667 fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2009-05-13 17:33)
kill thrill attacks you with a machete for 3 damage. You die. (2009-05-13 17:41)
You hear Kahuni calling for assistance from quite close to the south-east. (2009-05-13 21:54)
pHollo con pHatatas kills Stan667 with a knife. (2009-05-14 00:16)
Dick Cheney kills pHollo con pHatatas with a machete. (2009-05-14 03:46)

[mayhem]

Según parece Keiichi / Mourning la ha diñado en un accidente de coche volviendo del súper.

Vaya vaya.

Será de esos enemigos que se echan de menos.

[Tarzanete]

Joder, qué grande es el pH, que mata a la gente de verdad...

[Ramón]

18 de Mayo, un tal Euphenics se suicida.

19 de Junio, a Cyadora (Coup Poudre) se le quema la casa y lo pierde todo.

4 de Julio, Keiichi-Mourning la espicha en accidente de coche.

...

YOU DON'T MESS WITH PH!!


PS. No, la verdad es que acojona, tío. Ese foro tiene toda la pinta de ser o la versión forística de The Ring (el OGT) o de Viernes 13 la vengansa del sincopata al que le mataron demasiadas veces el personaje y ahora va por ahí con una careta de yanomami ajustando cuentas.

Por si acaso no salid a la calle, hamigos, que...

ehm... eh...

ah, no...

nosotros estamos fuera de peligro.

...

[Jordison]

No os lo perdáis, que ahora la gente anda diciendo que sospechan que lo de la muerte de Keiichi sea un invento (¿¿¿¿¿????).

Pa mear y no echar ni gota.

[mayhem]

A mí ya ayer me empezó a entrar el resquemor. No me parece muy normal lo que está haciendo y cómo lo está haciendo la supuesta mujer del Keiichi, pero bueno.

A mí plin si está vivo o muerto, pero si es mentira no veas qué hijoputa hay que ser, sobre todo para la gente que le pudiera tener cierto aprecio en el foro/juego, si es que había alguien, claro.

Por cierto, en la medical de Rakmogak ha muerto Ed Gein pero hay un tal Sokomul o algo así que me estuvo arreando poco antes de que apareciera Khali y Pocholo lo masticara. Parece un peruano de algún mierdecilla del GSUC o algo así.

En cuanto a Durham... mañana Gica Muresan hace su aparición estelar si nadie lo pela de camino. A lo más tardar pasado mañana estaría cerca de la ciudad hasta el culo de APs. Y tendremos pHestival de grindcore espiritual! Posiciónense y acechen. A ver si encontramos algún hut topeguapo con muchos personajes para reventarlo.

[mayhem]

Cualquier duda ha sido prácticamente resuelta tras el post de un tal Kurtz:

You're both very sweet, and I can understand why you're angry at me, but I think your anger is misdirected. And that is why it annoys me that this creep is taking you for a ride. Of course I can't prove it categorically. I don't know if his name is really Auguste Beaumont, whether he really lives in Springfield, Ohio, even whether he's really male. The internet is a world of masks. People can be anything they want. Even dead.

I'm sorry to hammer at this, but it appears even now there are some who don't want to believe that someone could be so mean to them. So let's have a quick review, shall we?

A week before 'the event', Alicia appears on IRC for the first time ever. Prior to this there has been no suspicion of her existence. She talks only about Keiichi, never herself, often in dramatic ways designed to tug on our heartstrings.
Jun 24 06:43:34 <Alicia> He is like
Jun 24 06:43:40 <Alicia> Well
Jun 24 06:44:00 <Alicia> Just sort of alone
Jun 24 06:44:20 <Alicia> No matter how he is surrounded by people, he is always alone it seems
Jun 24 06:44:44 <Noahsan> I know what that is like
Jun 24 06:45:16 <Alicia> Depressed. In pain.
Jun 24 06:45:22 <Alicia> It pains me to see him that way

There is even dramatic foreshadowing:
Jun 24 06:52:28 <Alicia> He almost never smiles. I found him this morning with a gun in his mouth sitting in the bathtub. It scared me something terrible. Has he been saying anything on here?

I even suspect Keiichi hadn't decided whether it was going to be 'suicide' or not at that stage, but later decided a car accident might be more credible.

Then a few days later 'the event' happens. We are expected to believe:
1. That someone who died from injuries sustained in a car accident would nevertheless be conscious and compos mentis and unmedicated enough during their last hours to pass on wishes. I am sorry to be brutal, but I have watched friends and relatives die, and that is pure Hollywood.
2. That these wishes would involve a computer game.
3. That the body would be returned to France and 'therefore' there will be no obituary.
4. That the death of a French national in small town Ohio would excite no comment from the local press whatsoever. I mean I live in London; even here it would make the news. I actually looked at the local press for Springfield - believe me, even regular deaths in car accidents make news items there, even when someone from the town died in Atlantic city, let alone those involving foreigners.
5. That she can't even tell us the name of the hospital or address of relatives to send flowers or cards.
6. That she would then begin playing Shartak using the old account and go around silently killing other people.

Does any of this sound even remotely plausible to anyone? Maybe one of these things above I could swallow, but I can't take all six.

At any stage it would be easily possible to stop all speculation and leave doubters with egg all over their faces and feeling like the most horrendous monsters simply by posting a link to a local paper or some other source where this is mentioned. No such link has been found, even by people who have combed over this quite extensively, people who have checked with local papers and local hopsitals.

I have been on forums and groups where people have died. On UrbanDead we even persuaded Kevan to change a tile outside Caigar into a memorial to Motogrrl. This is different. It just smells all wrong. And it annoys the heck out of me that sweet, well-meaning people are being duped in such a way.

I am sorry to cause anyone extra pain. I let it alone to begin with, and like most of us I trod on eggshells just on the off-chance I was wrong - this is something it would be really terrible to be wrong about. But the intervening fortnight has only convinced me more and more, and I think that the truth is more important than self-delusion.

Vaya con el Keiichi, menudo puto tarado.

Gente asín hace jrande el internet.